A lot of women, prior to becoming pregnant or giving birth often dream up what their lives will look link once they have a baby (I sure do)! But sometimes, things don't go according to plan. Sometimes we are left feeling lost, hopeless, and sad after our babies are born - and without being entirely sure where to turn, or what's even going on, we get lost in a sea of emotion and become withdrawn, and wonder why we are feeling this way or why any of this is happening. After all...aren't we supposed to be happy after our babies are here? Thats what we see of new motherhood on billboards and social media after all…Read More
We were bringing him out of the water and Mandi said the cord was wrapped very tightly around his neck and she was struggling to get it off. All I could say was help him. It was just a few seconds and he was unwrapped and put on my chest.
I just kept repeating “my baby, my baby!” I will never forget those moments. I remember whispering to my hubby that I could not believe he came out of my vagina, we had a pretty good laugh about that! My baby was here.
We cried….and I couldn’t believe this was happening to us. I went through every thought. I felt like my body failed you, I felt like I failed my husband, it was unfair. I waited this long to have you and in just an instant, that dream was taken from me. Will I ever be able to have you? Will this happen again? I don’t know if I can bear to go through trying to conceive again, feeling guilty that we lost you. I’m so sorry, I would have done anything to save you.Read More
I know it is hard to get out of bed sometimes because sleep deprivation is pure torture and it has sucked out every ounce of energy you may have in you. I know this form of exhaustion all too well Mama, especially when my babies were first born. Sometimes it turns into a depression. I know you love being a Mama, but some days are just covered in clouds. It's okay Mama.Read More
I became terrified at the thought that someone might get into our apartment and snatch our precious boy. When I thought of it, my blood would run cold and I would feel physically sick. It was around this time that we had been thinking about moving our son from our room, into his nursery at night, but just the thought of it would cause me to break down in tears of fear.Read More
I'm a disappointing 4 cms dilated, babies heart rate is dipping and I am developing a fever. Dianne is called and an intense conversation is started, with a c section looking very likely. At 11.40 I make the decision to go ahead and we are prepped. The drugs to numb my lower half are administered and I get quite a shock as I lose all feeling in my legs and abdomen, I start to panic and my worst case scenario thoughts kick in, what if I can't walk again... this is short lived when my arms start shaking uncontrollably and I scream out.Read More
But I’m now a statistic that I never even considered, a statistic that would have to be the ugliest thing I’ve ever experienced in my life! It feels like a very lonely statistic. It’s a statistic that knocks me around every day. It’s a statistic that has turned my life upside down, inside out and will do forever. If you’d told me that I would be a single parent by the time my baby was three months old I would have been in total disbelief.Read More
Part two of Destiny's story on perinatal mental health.Read More
Discussions of mental health with beautiful mama Destiny.Read More